Day and Night

First of all, an apology to my Mom, I don't know when is the best time to get a hold of me. Sorry.

I work nights, 7p-7a.

This means at any given moment, you could find me sleeping.

I love to sleep. It restores me and keeps me sane.

I also love to be a nurse. It restores me and keeps me sane.

But working nights, I nap from 1-5p on those days that I was off the night before. On days I worked the night before, the bed and I have a set rendezvous from 9 am to 5 pm. Then if I worked and am off work, I come home and snuggle into the bed from 9 am -1 pm or maybe 2 pm or sometimes 3 pm ( all depends on how exhausted I am).

AND things a going to get even more crazy as I begin teaching CCE at 3:30 pm on Sunday. Think of getting up at 3:30 am to go teach Sunday school.

But don't feel sorry for me or anything, I love what my life is and am so blessed to have a job I truly love.

I just wanted to let you all know - I could be sleeping. .  .or awake. You just never know.

Wanting Independence

I don't know why but I'm feeling a little cramped at the moment. Well maybe cramped isn't the best word. I guess I just feel kind of.... stuck? Here's how I can best explain it: I'm happier at school than I am at home. When I'm home, I want to be alone in a big room where I can run around, screaming my head off or singing at the top of my lungs to my favorite songs. I often dream of ice skating alone or with a guy to a random song depending on my mood.

So that makes me remember the one weekend I was completely alone here at home while Mom, Dad, and Colt were at a retreat. I was completely self sufficient for and entire two and a half days. I liked not being told what to do. The reason I think I cleaned up after myself and got everything done is because I knew it pertained to me. Not so much that Mom would kill me if I didn't, but because it was just an obligation, I suppose. I didn't feel guilty if I didn't do something and I didn't feel "responsible" if I did do something. Does that make sense??

So at the moment, I just wanna move into a big space with all my music and school work and other supplies and just be alone for a while, away from family. I'm not sad, I've just got this overwhelming urge to just run off to a random open space with a friend and just rock out or be completely silent.

Just for right now. :)