I'm Tired.....

Remember Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles? She plays the tired saloon call girl. Her theme song is "I'm Tired." That song keeps running through my head, fake German accent and all.

I shouldn't be complaining. There are so many other people out there who, I am sure, are more exhausted than me, like my sisters with little kids. Or the patients at the hospital who can't rest for hospital staff coming in and out like there was a revolving door to their room.

I should be counting my blessing that I have a job and that I love my job. Right now we are in a nurse shortage and that brings even more job security but it gets tiring working short staffed over a long period of time. I am so ready for some new nurses to join the team. I am blessed that I can complain about having a job that meets our financial obligations.

But for right now, I am tired and just thinking about working the next 6 nights with a meeting Friday at 10am makes me feel even more tired.

The House Elf is back!

Many of you may not know this, but when I got married my husband was a clean freak. I never had to lift a finger except to cook. I did not know how to wash dishes clean enough for his satisfaction, so I just let him joyfully do it all.

When we had children the onus became more of a dual role and we both had to pitch in to keep the chaos under control. Even then it was a bit too much and when the four gears (people) are putting effort into the project only then did the house stay clean and orderly. Well, that did not happen too often. 

Time marches on and my children have wandered off to college and we are back to the two of us. Low and behold the house elf has returned to his old ways. I do feel guilty about this. After all we went in to this marriage as a group effort. It seems it is mostly a him effort when it comes to the household duties. So, one may ask, what DO I do? Seemingly little - I cook, grocery shop, take care of the pets and occasionally laundry. Yes, I do wash dishes when needed but it usually ends up being my sweet husband who washes and mops up after me.

I know I work a lot of hours and odd hours at that but I really do need to try harder to hold up my end of the housekeeping effort. I am so lucky to have a house elf who does not hold my laziness against me!!

What is an INTJ to do?

I am often amazed at the perceptions other have of me. I usually am quite oblivious to the speculation and perceptions of others. I am an INTJ (assertive variant) personality. I am more concerned with meeting my objective and accomplishing my goals. Not to say I am heartless but that the social norms of small talk and chit chat tend to seem frivolous to me.
My daughter and Nursing Leadership Class clued me into the importance of other's perceptions. I took the Myers-Briggs personality assessment(www.16personalities.com).

My patients are my first priority at work, then my co-workers and their feelings. This means when I take reports and I am told some critical information I start processing the data in my brain and knowledge of that particular health issue. I must get a look that is perceived to be judgmental because many of my co-workers feel I am being critical of their report. Far from that, I am simply processing the information. I think like a guy in that respect. I am trying to solve or evaluate what options might be viable for the care of this person and their health issue.

So what is a person to do?? Become more in tune with the perceptions of others and desperately try to understand how others think and behave. The knowledge of how others operate tends to baffle me. I can empathize with the patients and the families but I get frustrated with my peers who look for me to empathize with them and their feelings. I don't come to work to be their friend and as an INTJ my true friends are a few selected people (this is mostly my sisters). I realize that this is a HUGE weakness in my professional career. One I have tried hard to overcome but apparently it is still an issue in my world. 

Here is what my profile says about me:

INTJ STRENGTHS

• Quick, Imaginative and Strategic Mind - INTJs pride themselves on their minds, taking every opportunity to improve their knowledge, and this shows in the strength and flexibility of their strategic thinking. Insatiably curious and always up for an intellectual challenge, INTJs can see things from many perspectives. INTJs use their creativity and imagination not so much for artistry, but for planning contingencies and courses of action for all possible scenarios.
• High Self-Confidence - INTJs trust their rationalism above all else, so when they come to a conclusion, they have no reason to doubt their findings. This creates an honest, direct style of communication that isn't held back by perceived social roles or expectations. When INTJs are right, they're right, and no amount of politicking or hand-holding is going to change that fact - whether it's correcting a person, a process, or themselves, they'd have it no other way.
• Independent and Decisive - This creativity, logic and confidence come together to form individuals who stand on their own and take responsibility for their own actions. Authority figures do not impress INTJs, nor do social conventions or tradition, and no matter how popular something is, if they have a better idea, INTJs will stand against anyone they have to in a bid to have it changed. Either an idea is the most rational or it's wrong, and INTJs will apply this to their arguments as well as their own behavior, staying calm and detached from these sometimes emotionally charged conflicts. INTJs will only be swayed by those who follow suit.
• Hard-working and determined - If something piques their interest, INTJs can be astonishingly dedicated to their work, putting in long hours and intense effort to see an idea through. INTJs are incredibly efficient, and if tasks meet the criteria of furthering a goal, they will find a way to consolidate and accomplish those tasks. However, this drive for efficiency can also lead to a sort of elaborate laziness, wherein INTJs find ways to bypass seeming redundancies which don't seem to require a great deal of thought - this can be risky, as sometimes double-checking one's work is the standard for a reason.
• Open-minded - All this rationalism leads to a very intellectually receptive personality type, as INTJs stay open to new ideas, supported by logic, even if (and sometimes especially if) they prove INTJs' previous conceptions wrong. When presented with unfamiliar territory, such as alternate lifestyles, INTJs tend to apply their receptiveness and independence, and aversion to rules and traditions, to these new ideas as well, resulting in fairly liberal social senses.
• Jacks-of-all-Trades - INTJs' open-mindedness, determination, independence, confidence and strategic abilities create individuals who are capable of doing anything they set their minds to. Excelling at analyzing anything life throws their way, INTJs are able to reverse-engineer the underlying methodology of most any system and apply the concepts that are exposed wherever needed. INTJs tend to have their pick of professions, from IT architects to political masterminds.

INTJ WEAKNESSES

• Arrogant - INTJs are perfectly capable of carrying their confidence too far, falsely believing that they've resolved all the pertinent issues of a matter and closing themselves off to the opinions of those they believe to be intellectually inferior. Combined with their irreverence for social conventions, INTJs can be brutally insensitive in making their opinions of others all too clear.
• Judgmental - INTJs tend to have complete confidence in their thought process, because rational arguments are almost by definition correct - at least in theory. In practice, emotional considerations and history are hugely influential, and a weak point for INTJs is that they brand these factors and those who embrace them as illogical, dismissing them and considering their proponents to be stuck in some baser mode of thought, making it all but impossible to be heard.
• Overly analytical - A recurring theme with INTJs is their analytical prowess, but this strength can fall painfully short where logic doesn't rule - such as with human relationships. When their critical minds and sometimes neurotic level of perfectionism (often the case with Turbulent INTJs) are applied to other people, all but the steadiest of friends will likely need to make some distance, too often permanently.
• Loathe highly structured environments - Blindly following precedents and rules without understanding them is distasteful to INTJs, and they disdain even more authority figures who blindly uphold those laws and rules without understanding their intent. Anyone who prefers the status quo for its own sake, or who values stability and safety over self-determination, is likely to clash with INTJ personality types. Whether it's the law of the land or simple social convention, this aversion applies equally, often making life more difficult than it needs to be.
• Clueless in romance - This antipathy to rules and tendency to over-analyze and be judgmental, even arrogant, all adds up to a personality type that is often clueless in dating. Having a new relationship last long enough for INTJs to apply the full force of their analysis on their potential partner's thought processes and behaviors can be challenging. Trying harder in the ways that INTJs know best can only make things worse, and it's unfortunately common for them to simply give up the search. Ironically, this is when they're at their best, and most likely to attract a partner.

And here is my workplace profile:

INTJ IN THE WORKPLACE

Above all else, INTJs want to be able to tackle intellectually interesting work with minimal outside interference, no more, no less. Time-consuming management techniques like trust-building getaways, progress meetings, and drawn-out, sandwiched criticisms are only going to annoy INTJs - all they need, be they subordinate, colleague, or manager, is to meet their goals with the highest standard of technical excellence and to be surrounded by, if anyone at all, people who share those values.

On paper this makes them appear to be exemplary employees, and in many ways they are, but there are many types, especially those with a combination of the Observant (S) and Feeling (F) traits, who will find a work (or any other) relationship with INTJs extremely challenging. INTJs have a fairly strict code of conduct when it comes to their work, and if they see coworkers valuing social activities and "good enough" workmanship over absolute excellence, it will be a turbulent environment. For this reason, INTJs tend to prefer to work in tight, like-minded groups - a group of one, if necessary.

 

So my questions is - Is this how you all see me?? And - It this really a bad thing?