The seasons are magnificent. The colors or lack of colors that accompany each change are so characteristic of the season or that we have become used to associating with each season.
It isn't just the weather that has seasons. We all have seasons of our lives and it has always struck me amazing that no matter how old a person is, they have lived a full life when they die. Whether they are 90 or, 46, or 31, or 4, these people live their lives to the fullest. Especially when it comes to cancer patients.
I don't think anyone wants to leave their family and life behind in this world, but I do think that people do know when their time here is done and they they will be moving to a new place. Leaving the miseries of this world behind is not a bad thing.
But many leave with fear. That fear of the unknown - what is coming next? what will happen to my family? what is dying like? The answers to each question are as varied as the people who ask them.
I have had the season of goodbyes this month. As January comes to a close, I have four patients who have died this month. I have another two who are sick and we cannot determine why they are having the symptoms they are having. This conundrum is not a good sign for survival.
I have been honored to care for these people and help make the journey easier for them and their families. Although it can be painful - it is also an experience that adds to the color and richness of my life.
Often you all ask me how I can deal with this day after day. I must tell you that we all have our strengths. Mine is being able to help people in times of catastrophe and death. I truly could not be an accountant or an engineer or in tech/computers.
God has given me the grace to help people in their last season of life. And do not make the mistake of thinking it is all pain and suffering - there is much beauty and grace in that last season.
Thank you for letting me grieve the losses of my world with you. You all give me the strength to do this every day.
